Do not be heartbroken.

The ride was not finished (338)

 (Part three hundred and thirty-eight), Depok, West Java, Indonnesia, August 10, 2015, 5:45 pm).

Do not be heartbroken.

I had an uncle, the college (school) was once in love with a student (girl), but because the girl left him and married (married) with another man, and my uncle was gutted, and never married to old (dies ).

My friend twice a week going to the hospital to deliver her younger brother because of an illness recalled, that his brother was already approaching 50 years old. And he and his wife regularly to the hospital, because her sister was until now remain single (unmarried). He said his brother was ever broken hearts left behind a girlfriend many years ago, so lazy married.

As a result, when he is now sick, no wife or children were dropping, except his brother (brother) it.

Perhaps many of us either men or women who decide to remain single (not married), by reason of a broken heart.

A broken heart is a natural disappointment experienced by everyone, but whether it is necessary and there is no point we gutted continuously until the end of our life (death).

In fact, God created man as inheritors of the earth, so that human beings worship only Allah and as a preparation for the essentials of life (immortal) in the hereafter.

So if we do during life in this world is only temporary and as a field test from God, then there is no other choice if we live it has a purpose or plan. Perfect directions through life it is the Holy book of Quran and Sunnah (Hadith / al-wisdom) of the Prophet Muhammad.

With this guide we will live well and always facilitated the affairs of God in all things.

So the decision for a broken heart is not in the dictionary of the Koran and Sunnah, due to mate, sustenance and death (deceased) has been appointed by God in the book:

"Lawh Mahfuz".

Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam said: "Allaah has set all the destiny of all creatures from fifty thousand years before God created the heavens and the earth". (HR. Muslim no. 2653).

"Nothing a calamity befalls on the earth and (nor) in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book (Lawh Mahfuz) before We bring it. Verily it is easy for Allah ". (QS. Al-Hadid: 22).

If we were to old (dead), but God did not bring us to our soul mate, then if we remain faithful and consistent do practice pillars of Islam, then God willing, we are in heaven will get a mate (husband / wife) nymph (for men) and vidyadhara (for women).

So remain steadfast in my trust (faith) in God, do not despair (gutted) in this short life (the average man lives not exceeding 70 years). Whereas the real purpose of life is in heaven (hereafter) is forever.

Women Who Option? Options Men Who? Khitbah (woo)

By

Shaikh Abdullah bin Abdul al-Azhim Khalafi

Marriage, including one of the Sunnah of the Apostles of the most emphasized, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says:

ولقد أرسلنا رسلا من قبلك وجعلنا لهم أزواجا وذرية

"And indeed we have sent some Messengers before you and we give them wives and offspring." [Ar-Ra'd: 38]

Dimakruhkan leave this Sunnah without reason, as mentioned in the hadeeth narrated by Anas ibn Malik radi anhu, he said:

جاء ثلاثة رهط إلى بيوت أزواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يسألون عن عبادة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم, فلما أخبروا كأنهم تقالوها, فقالوا: وأين نحن من رسول صلى الله عليه وسلم? قدغفرله ماتقدم من ذنبه وماتأخر. فقال أحدهم: أما أنا, فأنا أصلى الليل أبدا, وقال الآخر: أنا أصوم الدهر ولاأفطر وقال آخر: أنا أعتزل النساء فلا أتزوج أبدا. فجاء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم, فقال: ((أنتم الذين قلتم كذا وكذا? أما والله إنى لأخشاكم لله وأتقاكم له, ولكنى أصوم وأفطر, وأصلى وأرقد, وأتزوج النساء, فمن رغب عن سنتى فليس منى)).

"There were three men come to the house of the wife of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam and asked him about his worship, as told to them, then they feel that they worship it a bit, then they say," Where is our position compared to the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam while he has forgiven all his sins, both past and future. Then one of them said, 'I will pray the night forever. "A again said,' I will fast throughout the year without breaking, 'and another said,' I will avoid women and not be married forever." Then the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam came and said,' Kaliankah that has been said so and so? For the sake of Allah, I was the most afraid of and fear of God than you, but I fast and break the fast, pray and sleep, and marry women. Whoever hates my Sunnah, then he is not included golonganku. '"[1]

For people who have been able to and was afraid he fell into indecency, then the marriage is obligatory, because adultery and everything that drives a person to act is unlawful. People who are afraid he will fall to fornication, then he must anticipate them. And if it can not be achieved except by marriage, then it is obligatory for him to marry. [2]

As for those who have not been able to get married while he was very passionate, then he should fast, as mentioned in a hadith narrated from Ibn Mas'ud radi anhu, he said, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to us:

يامعشر الشباب: من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج, فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم, فإنه له وجاء.

"O youth, whoever of you have been able to then should marry, because it is more subdued and maintain pubic view. And whoever is not able, then he should fast, because he can curb it. "[3]

Women Who Option?

Anyone who wants to get married, then he should look for a woman who has the following criteria:

1. Obey religion, as the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, narrated by Abu Hurayrah radi anhu, he said:

تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها, ولحسبها ولجمالها, ولدينها, فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك.

"The woman is married for four things: because wealth, lineage, beauty and religion. Then Get a devout woman you would have been lucky. "[4]

2. Still a girl, unless there is mashlahat for him to marry a widow woman, as has been mentioned in a history that Jabir bin 'Abdillah radi anhu said:

تزوجت امرأة في عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم, فلقيت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم, فقال: ياجابر, تزوجت? قلت: نعم. قال: بكر أم ثيب? قلت: ثيب. فهلا بكرا تلاعبها? قلت: يا رسول الله إن لي أخوات, فخشيت أن تدخل بيني وبينهن. قال: فذاك إذن. إن المرأة تنكح على دينها ومالها وجمالها, فعليك بذات الدين تربت يداك.

"I have married a woman in the time of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he met the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam, he asked, 'O Jabir, have you married?' I replied, 'Yes.' Then he asked, 'With a girl or a widow? 'I replied,' A widow. 'He said,' Why did not you choose a girl so that you can joke with him? 'Then I said,' O Messenger of Allah! Actually I have some me-sisters so I'm afraid there will be misunderstandings. 'So he said,' If so, then it does not matter. Indeed she was married for religion, wealth and beauty, then marry women who are religious undoubtedly you will be happy. "[5]

3. Women who are fertile, as mentioned in a hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik radi anhu from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, he said:

(تزوجوا الودود الولود, فإني مكاثر بكم الأمم).

"Marry women who are fertile Peranakan and compassionate, because I will boast in the presence of other people with a number of you that much." [6]

Options Men Who?

If a man is advisable to look for the woman berkriteria as we have mentioned above, then the guardian of women is also obliged to seek a righteous man who will marry her. Abu Hatim al-Muzani radi anhu said, "The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه, إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبير.

'If someone comes to you who you ridhai religion and moral, then nikahkanlah he (with your female child), otherwise there will be fitnah on earth and great corruption. "[7]

And it's all right if a guardian offer your daughter or women to men righteous, as narrated by Ibn 'Umar radi anhu, he said, "Behold, when Hafsah bint' Umar radi anhuma widowed by her husband named Khunais bin Hudzafah as- Sahmi, he was one of the Companions of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam who died in Medina. 'Umar ibn al-Khattab said,' I went to 'Uthman ibn' Affan to offer Hafsah, then he said, 'Would I consider first.' After a couple of days later 'Uthman came to me and said,' I have decided not to get married at the time now. '' Umar said, 'Then I met Abu Bakr as-Siddiq and said,' If you want, I marry you with Hafsah bint 'Umar. "But Abu Bakr silent and did not say anything and at that moment I felt more disappointed against Abu Bakr rather than to 'Uthman. A few days passed until then the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam ask for her hand, then I marry it with the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam. Then Abu Bakr met me and said, 'You are angry with me when you offered Hafsah but I did not say anything?' Umar replied 'Yes' Abu Bakr said,' Surely there is nothing in my way except to accept your offer because I know that Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam has called it (Hafsah). I do not want to spread the secret of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, when he leaves, then surely I will accept it.' "[8]

Women see The groom

Anyone who wants to woo her heart desires a woman, then disyari'atkan for him to see it before he proposed. Muhammad bin Maslamah radi anhu said, "I propose a woman, then I was hiding and peeking woman so that I can see." Then say to him, "How do you do this while you are Companions of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam?" He replied, , "I have heard the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

إذا ألقى الله في قلب امرئ خطبة امرأة, فلابأس أن ينظر إليها.

"If God put the desire to heart a man to propose to a woman, it does not matter if he saw the woman. '" [9]

From Mughirah bin Shu'bah radi anhu, he said, "I came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam and reported to him that I applied for a woman, then he said:

اذهب فانظر إليها, فإنه أجدر أن يؤدم بينكما.

"Go and see the woman, because the saw can further perpetuate the affection between the two of you. '" [10]

Khitbah (woo)

Khitbah means applying for a woman to be his wife in a manner known in the community. If it has reached an agreement, then it is only a promise of a deal to get married, the man who apply are not allowed to do anything against the woman because of her status dilamarnya still others until he tied the knot.

And it is not permissible for a Muslim to apply for a woman who has spoken for his brother, as saying of Ibn 'Umar radi anhuma:

نهى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أن يبيع بعضكم على بيع بعض, ولا يخطب الرجل على خطبة أخيه حتى يترك الخاطب قبله أو يأذن له الخاطب.

"The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam forbade some of you buy something that is being purchased by others. And let someone applying for a woman who is still spoken by his brother to the person leaving it or allow it. "[11]

Likewise, should not apply for women who are in the 'talaq Raj'i iddah (waiting period after a woman divorced and still be able to refer back-Desc), because its status is still as another man's wife, as he was also not allowed to Tashrih (in terang- publicly) applying for the woman who is still in 'iddah talaq ba'in (waiting period after divorce a woman who can not reconcile-pent) or death of a husband, but not why her to ta'ridh (with sarcasm). As the word of Allah Ta'ala:

ولا جناح عليكم فيما عرضتم به من خطبة النساء أو أكننتم في أنفسكم

"And there is no sin for you to woo women with satire or you hide (the desire to marry them) in your heart." [Al-Baqarah: 235]

[Copied from the book of Al-Sunnah wal Wajiiz FII Fiqhis Kitaabil Aziiz, Author Shaikh Abdul Azhim bin Badawai al-Khalafi, Indonesia Guide Fiqh Complete Edition, Translator Team Tashfiyah LIPIA - Jakarta, Ibn Kathir Reader Publishers, Printed in Ramadan 1428 - September 2007M]